Too drunk to cry anymore tears.
Nothing else left to do,
Every vein dried up.
No love I have left.
Calling grace from my chair,
Tired and awake,
Spent up the life I had.
Loose change is all I have.
Only symphonies play now,
But no one can hear,
Bittersweet memories.
Sunday, 30 August 2009
Friday, 14 August 2009
...Are You Sick Of Me?...
"I bet you're sick of me aren't you?" asked a colleague of mine yesterday.
My reply; "I don't get sick of people, only places".
I like new places, never being in the same place too long.
However I can be found to revisit a place more then once, even many a time.
Places have different effects on people. Personally the ones which leave their impact on me I have revisited, never for very long though. Anything from a day up to two weeks. The I'm gone, until the next time, if there is one. I think that can be enough but then again sometimes it isn't.
I wonder if I were to stay for too long then wherever I am would loose it's magic. It's attraction.
Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't. Don't know if I'd like to find out though. So far I like being the traveller.
My reply; "I don't get sick of people, only places".
I like new places, never being in the same place too long.
However I can be found to revisit a place more then once, even many a time.
Places have different effects on people. Personally the ones which leave their impact on me I have revisited, never for very long though. Anything from a day up to two weeks. The I'm gone, until the next time, if there is one. I think that can be enough but then again sometimes it isn't.
I wonder if I were to stay for too long then wherever I am would loose it's magic. It's attraction.
Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't. Don't know if I'd like to find out though. So far I like being the traveller.
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
...God:Religion:Belief...
I was asked today if I believed in God.
Do I believe there is a God?
To put it simply. I don't know.
I don't know if there is,
I don't know if there isn't.
I've never deliberated over it much.
I suppose the closest to a religion I've come to believe or even follow is Buddhism or perhaps even Wicca.
My mothers side of the family are Catholics and I was christened, but I've never been a devout Catholic, in fact I've hardly ever stepped foot into a church, in the past 5 years not once at all.
Thinking about it now,If there was a God then I'd ask why is there war?
It's ironic as people say we fight for peace, so therefore we kill in the name of peace and religion, at least it seems to me all wars stem from religion.
The question remains though, Why war? Why killing? Why death? When we have what, roughly 6 billion people in the world? 6 billion souls and in this age of technology and new medical advances then surely if there was a God there would be no need for death or in fact any of it would there(?).
Then again I suppose that the counter argument would be that we have our own free will, so therefore war and murder and death in the line of duty are our own cause, our own use of will.
Wouldn't we all feel victimised if we put our trust in a God and this God took someone close to us who we love, wouldn't we all ask why?
I don't know if putting that much faith and trust into God is at all times wise, not just for what I mentioned, but for many other reasons.
Anyway isn't religion and God mans creation?
Will we ever know?
Or is it indeed the ones who have that much faith that will find out upon departure of their lives?
Maybe there is a God and heaven awaiting them for such strong faith?
In the end, I have still come to the conclusion that now more than ever:
I don't know if I believe or not.
I simply don't know.
It is one question I feel I cannot answer at this moment in time.
Do I believe there is a God?
To put it simply. I don't know.
I don't know if there is,
I don't know if there isn't.
I've never deliberated over it much.
I suppose the closest to a religion I've come to believe or even follow is Buddhism or perhaps even Wicca.
My mothers side of the family are Catholics and I was christened, but I've never been a devout Catholic, in fact I've hardly ever stepped foot into a church, in the past 5 years not once at all.
Thinking about it now,If there was a God then I'd ask why is there war?
It's ironic as people say we fight for peace, so therefore we kill in the name of peace and religion, at least it seems to me all wars stem from religion.
The question remains though, Why war? Why killing? Why death? When we have what, roughly 6 billion people in the world? 6 billion souls and in this age of technology and new medical advances then surely if there was a God there would be no need for death or in fact any of it would there(?).
Then again I suppose that the counter argument would be that we have our own free will, so therefore war and murder and death in the line of duty are our own cause, our own use of will.
Wouldn't we all feel victimised if we put our trust in a God and this God took someone close to us who we love, wouldn't we all ask why?
I don't know if putting that much faith and trust into God is at all times wise, not just for what I mentioned, but for many other reasons.
Anyway isn't religion and God mans creation?
Will we ever know?
Or is it indeed the ones who have that much faith that will find out upon departure of their lives?
Maybe there is a God and heaven awaiting them for such strong faith?
In the end, I have still come to the conclusion that now more than ever:
I don't know if I believe or not.
I simply don't know.
It is one question I feel I cannot answer at this moment in time.
...Past...Present...Future...
Excerpts from an unpublished book,
"The journals and musings of..."
I shouldn't have run away.
I should have come back and faced everything.
It's been years and I haven't been back.
I don't even know if I can go back.
I'm...too scared.
I ran away, away from everything, Just up and left.
It's hard sometimes, to face whats left.
I think about the past and going back.
It haunts me everyday in the present,
And I think about the future that's yet to come.
What does it hold?
What will happen?
From a notebook, or rather journal of sorts of one persons thoughts, musings, questions, worries, emotions poems and inks (doodles) about time spent in this life.
"The journals and musings of..."
I shouldn't have run away.
I should have come back and faced everything.
It's been years and I haven't been back.
I don't even know if I can go back.
I'm...too scared.
I ran away, away from everything, Just up and left.
It's hard sometimes, to face whats left.
I think about the past and going back.
It haunts me everyday in the present,
And I think about the future that's yet to come.
What does it hold?
What will happen?
From a notebook, or rather journal of sorts of one persons thoughts, musings, questions, worries, emotions poems and inks (doodles) about time spent in this life.
...The River...
...Good Charlotte...
...Listening to the lyrics, I never realised up until now how relevant this song is to me at this point in my life and how it encapsulates a lot of things for me aswell as where I've come from in the past couple of years. Helps that its a catchy song too...
...Listening to the lyrics, I never realised up until now how relevant this song is to me at this point in my life and how it encapsulates a lot of things for me aswell as where I've come from in the past couple of years. Helps that its a catchy song too...
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
...When It All Gets Too Much...
...It's about time to make a change.
A new direction...
Now lets see whats changes and new adventures, as well as obstacles it brings!
It's long overdue. I might start a new project in line with this and see how it turns out, see if it comes to fruition with having more time to focus on it.
We'll see...
A new direction...
Now lets see whats changes and new adventures, as well as obstacles it brings!
It's long overdue. I might start a new project in line with this and see how it turns out, see if it comes to fruition with having more time to focus on it.
We'll see...
Friday, 31 July 2009
...Hollywood Whore...
...Papa Roach...
"Hollywood whore
Passed out on the floor
Can't take it no more
I'm sorry but the party is over.
The talk of the town
Is she's going down
I'm sorry but the party is over!"
So much relevance in today's society.
Not just celebrities but in the average joe as well, trying to make themselves into something they aren't. Excessive partying and the whole 15 minutes of fame that everyone seems to be after. The whole song has relevance, as well as being another awesome song by Papa Roach!
...Louis...
...Derbré...
French sculptor. Born to farmer parents in Northwestern France.
Working and creating amazing pieces of work for 60 years.
Le Fusillé; The piece in these pictures is one of the bronze works that was exhibited at the Hervé Gallery in 1965.
...Isn't It A Nice...
...Sentiment...
This little snippet is a letter to Ephram from his deceased mother Julia.
I think it's a nice sentiment and helps with the process of moving on and dealing with the void left by the people we love, moving on and letting them and the past go without forgetting them but embracing the future.
Everwood, A show centering on the Brown family; Andy, Ephram and Delia whose wife and mother has died in a car accident.
They then up and moved form the big city to a small town and the show is about life there after; dealing with life, death, grief and everything in between, as they start their new life in Everwood.
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
...Sunrise...
...In Beal Woods.
Randomly decided to camp out in the woods for a friend of mines birthday.
Got there and made a little den of sorts. Built a fire, found some extra wood for through the night and brought along a few crates of beer and some food and music. Didn't get any sleep, which was the beauty of it; seeing the sun rise and watch night turn to day. I recommend it at least once in your lifetime.
Friday, 24 July 2009
...Inks...
...Did a photoshoot a while back experimenting with some inks inks little water pots. I only used three colours; Blue, Orange and Yellow, as well as shooting them separate I mixed them, dropping tiny droplets into each pot and shooting each one until there was enough ink for it to spread out and create little streaks and mould together with the ink already to turn the colour.
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It's a photoshoot I have been wanting to do for quite some time but just never had the chance, It's a only a rough first attempt with a makeshift studio made from card, but I don't think the results are too bad. As I was preparing the shoot I had images of Wolfgang Tillmams ink photographs in my head which thinking back were probably the inspiration for me to want to do my own to see the different ways the inks travel through the water and the different angles and shades that could come of it as well as it just being an experiment with colour...
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It's a photoshoot I have been wanting to do for quite some time but just never had the chance, It's a only a rough first attempt with a makeshift studio made from card, but I don't think the results are too bad. As I was preparing the shoot I had images of Wolfgang Tillmams ink photographs in my head which thinking back were probably the inspiration for me to want to do my own to see the different ways the inks travel through the water and the different angles and shades that could come of it as well as it just being an experiment with colour...
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Sunday, 12 July 2009
...Weird Dreams...
...Been having really weird dreams these past couple of nights.
Random people, Crazy places. Now the dreams are popping into my thoughts at random intervals and it's a little worrying and confusing.
These are about the strangest things and I can't differentiate sometimes between dream and reality, they are that real...
Doing some searching and this is a interesting response I found to weird dreams and why they occur:
"The modern view of dreams are that they are the garbage dump of the mind. As you sleep, your mind tries to fit information gathered most recently with things filed in the past. That is why you will see things that related to both present and past in your dreams. e.g. if someone said something to you that hurt you, the mind might fit it together with a similar episode in the past. There will even be connections that you do not realise consciously that will turn up in your dreams. You may see a person from your past that you have not thought of in years, and wonder why, but if you talk the dream out, you might find that
his/her name matched someones that you met that day, or something you did together as children was mentioned in the day's conversation. But we often remember so little of our dreams that we sometimes cannot establish the connections fully, so they confuse us."
Random people, Crazy places. Now the dreams are popping into my thoughts at random intervals and it's a little worrying and confusing.
These are about the strangest things and I can't differentiate sometimes between dream and reality, they are that real...
Doing some searching and this is a interesting response I found to weird dreams and why they occur:
"The modern view of dreams are that they are the garbage dump of the mind. As you sleep, your mind tries to fit information gathered most recently with things filed in the past. That is why you will see things that related to both present and past in your dreams. e.g. if someone said something to you that hurt you, the mind might fit it together with a similar episode in the past. There will even be connections that you do not realise consciously that will turn up in your dreams. You may see a person from your past that you have not thought of in years, and wonder why, but if you talk the dream out, you might find that
his/her name matched someones that you met that day, or something you did together as children was mentioned in the day's conversation. But we often remember so little of our dreams that we sometimes cannot establish the connections fully, so they confuse us."
...Live Your Life...
Got everybody watching what I do
Come walk in my shoes
And see the way I'm living if you really want to
Got my mind on my money and I'm not going away.
So keep on getting your paper and keep on climbing
Look in the mirror and keep on shining
'Till the game ends, 'till the clock stops
We gon' post up on the top spot
T.I ft Rihanna.
Come walk in my shoes
And see the way I'm living if you really want to
Got my mind on my money and I'm not going away.
So keep on getting your paper and keep on climbing
Look in the mirror and keep on shining
'Till the game ends, 'till the clock stops
We gon' post up on the top spot
T.I ft Rihanna.
...Say...
...What you need to say.
Say what you need to say.
Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again
Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say What You Need To Say.
John Mayer - Say.
...The End Of...
...Modern Civilization.
This short film depicts World War III and the end of modern civilization, seen through the eyes of a young girl struggling to reach her family amidst the chaos.
Animation by Robbie Robertson
http://www.aniboom.com/boomzones/RobsH66
Saturday, 11 July 2009
...A Moments Peace...
Little moment of peace; contentedness.
A blissfully pleasant Saturday afternoon.
I'm in the garden on the swing chair after coming down to one of my aunts for dinner.
In our family she's the one famous for her cooking.
She made one of her famous roast dinners.
Right at this very moment I don't have any worries on my mind,
I've stopped it all,
just for a minute, until I get up.
Now I have my music playing and the warm summers breeze to cradle me along with the swing.
These little moments make the day a good one.
A shame that when I get up I have to go back to reality and deal with everything.
A blissfully pleasant Saturday afternoon.
I'm in the garden on the swing chair after coming down to one of my aunts for dinner.
In our family she's the one famous for her cooking.
She made one of her famous roast dinners.
Right at this very moment I don't have any worries on my mind,
I've stopped it all,
just for a minute, until I get up.
Now I have my music playing and the warm summers breeze to cradle me along with the swing.
These little moments make the day a good one.
A shame that when I get up I have to go back to reality and deal with everything.
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