Too drunk to cry anymore tears.
Nothing else left to do,
Every vein dried up.
No love I have left.
Calling grace from my chair,
Tired and awake,
Spent up the life I had.
Loose change is all I have.
Only symphonies play now,
But no one can hear,
Bittersweet memories.
Sunday, 30 August 2009
Friday, 14 August 2009
...Are You Sick Of Me?...
"I bet you're sick of me aren't you?" asked a colleague of mine yesterday.
My reply; "I don't get sick of people, only places".
I like new places, never being in the same place too long.
However I can be found to revisit a place more then once, even many a time.
Places have different effects on people. Personally the ones which leave their impact on me I have revisited, never for very long though. Anything from a day up to two weeks. The I'm gone, until the next time, if there is one. I think that can be enough but then again sometimes it isn't.
I wonder if I were to stay for too long then wherever I am would loose it's magic. It's attraction.
Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't. Don't know if I'd like to find out though. So far I like being the traveller.
My reply; "I don't get sick of people, only places".
I like new places, never being in the same place too long.
However I can be found to revisit a place more then once, even many a time.
Places have different effects on people. Personally the ones which leave their impact on me I have revisited, never for very long though. Anything from a day up to two weeks. The I'm gone, until the next time, if there is one. I think that can be enough but then again sometimes it isn't.
I wonder if I were to stay for too long then wherever I am would loose it's magic. It's attraction.
Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't. Don't know if I'd like to find out though. So far I like being the traveller.
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
...God:Religion:Belief...
I was asked today if I believed in God.
Do I believe there is a God?
To put it simply. I don't know.
I don't know if there is,
I don't know if there isn't.
I've never deliberated over it much.
I suppose the closest to a religion I've come to believe or even follow is Buddhism or perhaps even Wicca.
My mothers side of the family are Catholics and I was christened, but I've never been a devout Catholic, in fact I've hardly ever stepped foot into a church, in the past 5 years not once at all.
Thinking about it now,If there was a God then I'd ask why is there war?
It's ironic as people say we fight for peace, so therefore we kill in the name of peace and religion, at least it seems to me all wars stem from religion.
The question remains though, Why war? Why killing? Why death? When we have what, roughly 6 billion people in the world? 6 billion souls and in this age of technology and new medical advances then surely if there was a God there would be no need for death or in fact any of it would there(?).
Then again I suppose that the counter argument would be that we have our own free will, so therefore war and murder and death in the line of duty are our own cause, our own use of will.
Wouldn't we all feel victimised if we put our trust in a God and this God took someone close to us who we love, wouldn't we all ask why?
I don't know if putting that much faith and trust into God is at all times wise, not just for what I mentioned, but for many other reasons.
Anyway isn't religion and God mans creation?
Will we ever know?
Or is it indeed the ones who have that much faith that will find out upon departure of their lives?
Maybe there is a God and heaven awaiting them for such strong faith?
In the end, I have still come to the conclusion that now more than ever:
I don't know if I believe or not.
I simply don't know.
It is one question I feel I cannot answer at this moment in time.
Do I believe there is a God?
To put it simply. I don't know.
I don't know if there is,
I don't know if there isn't.
I've never deliberated over it much.
I suppose the closest to a religion I've come to believe or even follow is Buddhism or perhaps even Wicca.
My mothers side of the family are Catholics and I was christened, but I've never been a devout Catholic, in fact I've hardly ever stepped foot into a church, in the past 5 years not once at all.
Thinking about it now,If there was a God then I'd ask why is there war?
It's ironic as people say we fight for peace, so therefore we kill in the name of peace and religion, at least it seems to me all wars stem from religion.
The question remains though, Why war? Why killing? Why death? When we have what, roughly 6 billion people in the world? 6 billion souls and in this age of technology and new medical advances then surely if there was a God there would be no need for death or in fact any of it would there(?).
Then again I suppose that the counter argument would be that we have our own free will, so therefore war and murder and death in the line of duty are our own cause, our own use of will.
Wouldn't we all feel victimised if we put our trust in a God and this God took someone close to us who we love, wouldn't we all ask why?
I don't know if putting that much faith and trust into God is at all times wise, not just for what I mentioned, but for many other reasons.
Anyway isn't religion and God mans creation?
Will we ever know?
Or is it indeed the ones who have that much faith that will find out upon departure of their lives?
Maybe there is a God and heaven awaiting them for such strong faith?
In the end, I have still come to the conclusion that now more than ever:
I don't know if I believe or not.
I simply don't know.
It is one question I feel I cannot answer at this moment in time.
...Past...Present...Future...
Excerpts from an unpublished book,
"The journals and musings of..."
I shouldn't have run away.
I should have come back and faced everything.
It's been years and I haven't been back.
I don't even know if I can go back.
I'm...too scared.
I ran away, away from everything, Just up and left.
It's hard sometimes, to face whats left.
I think about the past and going back.
It haunts me everyday in the present,
And I think about the future that's yet to come.
What does it hold?
What will happen?
From a notebook, or rather journal of sorts of one persons thoughts, musings, questions, worries, emotions poems and inks (doodles) about time spent in this life.
"The journals and musings of..."
I shouldn't have run away.
I should have come back and faced everything.
It's been years and I haven't been back.
I don't even know if I can go back.
I'm...too scared.
I ran away, away from everything, Just up and left.
It's hard sometimes, to face whats left.
I think about the past and going back.
It haunts me everyday in the present,
And I think about the future that's yet to come.
What does it hold?
What will happen?
From a notebook, or rather journal of sorts of one persons thoughts, musings, questions, worries, emotions poems and inks (doodles) about time spent in this life.
...The River...
...Good Charlotte...
...Listening to the lyrics, I never realised up until now how relevant this song is to me at this point in my life and how it encapsulates a lot of things for me aswell as where I've come from in the past couple of years. Helps that its a catchy song too...
...Listening to the lyrics, I never realised up until now how relevant this song is to me at this point in my life and how it encapsulates a lot of things for me aswell as where I've come from in the past couple of years. Helps that its a catchy song too...
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
...When It All Gets Too Much...
...It's about time to make a change.
A new direction...
Now lets see whats changes and new adventures, as well as obstacles it brings!
It's long overdue. I might start a new project in line with this and see how it turns out, see if it comes to fruition with having more time to focus on it.
We'll see...
A new direction...
Now lets see whats changes and new adventures, as well as obstacles it brings!
It's long overdue. I might start a new project in line with this and see how it turns out, see if it comes to fruition with having more time to focus on it.
We'll see...
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