...Futures...

Got some news through today.
What i wanted to be a new start, what was or what at the very least feels like my last chance to get out of here has just slipped away.
This piece of news was pivotal in everything i had planned, it's what i had pinned everything on.
Nothing always goes as planned though.
A week and a half of waiting and praying, which is something i don't normally do and i was deflated, it was like someone sticking a pin in a balloon and watching is explode, it takes all that time to inflate but only a fraction of a second to burst, and it's gone.
All the fear and uncertainty of my future coupled with anger and this hope slipping away, all these feelings began to rise to a point of physical sickness, its not how it should be, but what do i do?
I'm only human and i made a few mistakes and now it's all falling apart at the seams.
I've managed to find one last chance though, other than that i don't know what to do so I'm now grasping at it with both hands, as if it were a ledge i were holding on to for life. This is what everything now rests so tentatively on.
Need to wait for more news now...





"A good style makes everything demonstrable, a great style makes everything great; in short, it is all just a matter of style; in other words, it is all lies."


Imre Kertész