...Dreams...

Dreams, they can seem so real.

You feel like you’re actually living what’s inside your head.

It feels so real. Unfortunately they aren't real.

It was so familiar, I had the sense that I knew it wasn’t as it seemed, that it wasn’t real, but it felt so real, so right, so calming and so peaceful.
I’m not quite sure where I was. I think it may have been a kitchen or it could have even been a restaurant of cafe. I remember it being fairly bright around, quite warm, a soft colour, burnt yellow, kind of like the way you imagine the sun. There was a table, wood effect and chrome, it looked quaint and inviting.

I remember bits as if it was an actual memory from childhood.
I was at the table and I had the overwhelming sense I was a child again, yet I had the mind and body of my present self and I knew full well what was happening around me. A man sits down at the table next to me along with a woman who serves up some food; I think it could have been around lunch time. The man and women were my mum and dad.

It was weirdly comforting to see them together; too see us together. In reality it has been five years this coming may 3rd that my dad had passed away. It was quite surreal but real, I didn’t want it to end.

I knew that it had too, that it was going too and I knew I had all these questions that needed answering but there wasn’t much need for talking, it was just enough to have my dad back for that short blissful period, it was enough to have a family again but these questions were looming, hanging over me, like the world was on my shoulders and time was against me, which it was.

Anyway, these questions, I remember for the most part ending up with answers which gradually came to culminate in the sense of closure for me, not completely though.
Before, unfortunately, coming back to wake up in the real world and the reality that I don’t have him no more and nor does the rest of my family I remember seeing my dad smile for the last time with my mum opposite him and me sat next to him, I gave him a hug and in an almost wispy haze it all faded out.

I woke up with this calm and peaceful feeling washing over me, was it real? Was it his way of finally saying goodbye? I’d welcome the closure but not the feeling that I might forget him.

Unfortunately it wasn’t real.

Funny things are dreams.