...Dreams...

23.05.07. DREAMS.

Familiar. Everything was.

There were old clothes that had gone years ago.

There were old photographs.

Some that are now gone and lost.

Some that we never had but yet looked so familiar.

I dreampt that the little cupboard which is my mum's room with all my dad's things in had been cleared out and i had been lied to about it.

When i lookd it was now her wardrobe.

Can't remeber much else. What does it all mean?

...Whats Inside You?..

What's Inside You?

Anything fighting to be free?

...Truth...

Talking to a physcologist.

The one in my head as it happens.

Conscience maybe (?)

Who Knows.

The Discussion turns to truth.

My answer to truth is;

One persons truth isn't neccessarily anothers.

For instance, My truth of the day is this;

Truth is facts.

And Honesty, Honesty is emotion (or a state of emotional wellbeing for some.)

...Silence...

Silence to think.

It can sometimes dull the brain.

Other times, truest beauty can emerge.

Plays can be formed and acted out.

Plays can also perish within the silence.

The silence of a muse.

Its a balance.

The brain and the spirit.

Compromise. Mood. Silence.

...Roman Vishniac...

Everything made by human hands looks terrible under magnification

- crude, rough and unsymmetrical.

But in nature every bit of life is lovely,

and the more magnification we use,

the more details are brought out perfectly formed.

Like endless sets of boxes within boxes.

Roman Vishniac.

...How Lonely Do You Feel?..

Maybe we're nasty and uncompromising to the people close to us beacuse...

...Because we know they'll always be there. At least we hope.

To the people not that close, we're always trying to be kind and nice to them,

Maybe because we're not sure they'll always be there.

What it comes down to is loneliness.

How lonely do you feel?

...In Too Deep...

Listen, you know I love you,

but I just can't take this,

You know I love you,

but I'm playing for keeps,

Although I need you,

I'm not gonna make this,

You know I want to,

but I'm in too deep

"In Too Deep" - Genesis.

...I'll Never Forget Hungary...

..The place I found part of My Heart

..The place I lost part of My Heart

..The place that still has part of My Heart.

One of the most elegant and beautiful

Eastern European Countries.

...Relationship:Single..?..

I decided to stay single, i told myself i wasn't ready to get into another relationship.

I wasn't prepared to be burned again.

I hadn't healed from the last time.

That was almost a year ago.

Now i feel quite lonely sometimes, i feel ready to let someone else in...to a point.

I don't want to let somone in that could get too close, myabe i'm afraid...yeah i think i am.

But i say better safe then sorry, i can be wise, i can save myself the pain.

But, at the same time, im not taking the risk that it - anything - could turn into something spectacular.

Life as a singleton isn't bad at all...

You can have fun,

Learn from past mistakes where things went wrong,

Heal,

Wait for someone decent to come along.

The problem is when being single has run its course of good offers,

it then brings the long lonely period.

Having nobody

Being with nobody

Sharing life with nobody

Not havin a patner to share it all with.

Thats when relationships are good. They can evole into so much.

Make life so much richer.

They can help you grow as a person.

You can still have fun, the ups with the downs. Only this time they'll be someone to share them with.

You can heal with someone.

The right someone..maybe not lifelong, but right for now somone.

Its all a balance, i may have said this before, life is all about balance;

Right and Wrong.

Left and Right.

Ying and Yang.

Life and Death.

Pleasure and Pain.

Good and Bad.

Share those precious moments

You need t be single to let it run its course and let you have fun or tend to the wounds. I also think to grow further and develop, see more with eyes open, you need to take a risk and get involved.

Tell that somone if there is somone how if you feel.

If you don't try you'll never know

The same goes for a break-up, if its not right you need to tell the other person and save your heart and mind a lot of agony. As well as the other person.

If its right, Its right

If its wrong, Its wrong.

...Empty...

Half empty or half left?

Sometimes i feel so empty,

Like i have an empty space in my heart.

Its yearning to be filled but i can't seem to.

Maybe its the places ive been,

the ones that have inspired me,

filled me with that sense of joy and belonging.

Maybe its not being in those places no more thats making me feel this way.

Theres something missing, I don't know what it is.

I don't know how to "cure" it.

What i do know is where i am right now i feel so lost and empty sometimes

and so confined, i just find it hard to break free.

I feel like i'm walking an empty street and my dreams seem so distant.

I walk this empty street

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Where the city sleeps

and I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

'Til then I walk alone

Taken from "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" - Green Day

...Blake...

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

Taken from "Auguries of Innocence" by William Blake

...How Profound?..

I like photography and different peoples different ideas.

So i was looking on the net at different photographs

some photographers had taken

and i came across one,

which was taken at an abandoned psychiatric facility in Whitby, Ontario.

i think it's quite creepy and wierdly scary, but begs all sorts of questions.

i was specifically looking at more profound photographs

and this came up...

Its dark, but its good, makes you think.

I could'nt find out who the phtographer was

but i really like this image, makes me think, about alot of things

how about you?

...Happy...

Easter

Passover

...Self Expression...

How do you express yourself?

what best shows who are?

How do you get your emotions out?

Expression.

Think about it.

Do it.

How it is for most people.

...Fragile...

So, i was thinking through today and yesterday,

about everything around me

and how fragile it all is.

Life and the things in it are so delicate.

Yet most of us take all this for granted on a daily basis,

god knows i do.

I was out near the castle close to where i live

and i was sat up their with a friend of mine,

and i was just looking out over the town and i realised.

Through all of the bad times, where i live isn't the most friendly of places.

Anyways, through all the bad, there is also so much good out there.

I looked out and just thought how peaceful it was

and i saw how fragile everything is and how easily it can change

It made me feel i can fianlly call this place home.

It's been a struggle to accept where i am.

Now i think i do accept it, not so much forcefuly any more but willingly.

Things are looking up

and lately walking through the streets and the towns,

i can see more good now then i have done for the last (almost) three years.

It's a great feeling being able to look out into the world around where you are

and see the good throught the bad,

It's like cleaning your windows in a manner of speaking.

My friends and family seem well,

which is very important to me and my own life seems this past month,

to be on the right track.

Life is so fragile and if treat with the utmost care, respect and if you have confidence,

then look out optimisticaly. Its amazing what you can see once your willing to look.

pieces may need picking up and put ack where they belong, others might not.

But it is wonderful once you accept it as it is and don't try to fix whats not broken.

...Eldon:Plato...

"Only the dead have seen the end of war"

Plato

...Peace..Not War...

WAR..

Would You like it???

Beacuse it is real.

And it does and will happen.

And people will always die..

What if it can be stopped?

It only takes one step in the right direction

and bonds can be made, trust can be forged

and at least dream can be built

we all want war to end..its one of everyones dream.

...Art After Death...

Dan Eldon, a photojournalist throughout his 22 year life.

In 1993 when he was photographing the aftermath of an attack that had taken place in somali,

And an angry mob of villagers who had lost friends and family, stoned and clubbed to death Eldon and three of his fellow journalists who were trying to help them through showing the world the truth of what was going on.

Throughout much of his life and from an early age Eldon began to keep journals filled with all his experiences,

his love and taste for life and his surroundings are very evident in his breathe taking journals filled with strong and evocative images.

There has been two compalations of his art published, the first being " The Journey is the Destination" and the second, "Dan Eldon: Art of Life: Books".

...Tradition...

This is a man carving a piece of wood in Hungary.

Simple picture, nothing to it really.

Nothing to the picture, but the craft,

to be so skilled takes years or even a lifetime to develop.

Something so small i often wonder why people bother carving wood,

but looking at this picture it makes me see,

Tradition, its carried on through the generations

its a craft that defines people,

it's what people get by doing,

It's what they know how to do.

It's a part of their heritage and culture.

Something so simple yet so complicated.

'Tis a small thing...but learn to open the eyes you have,

and examine these things, what do they all mean?

"The unexamined life is not worth living...Wisdom begins in wonder"

Socrates

...Simple Things...

At times the simplest things,

are the most beautiful.

Other times,

They are over run with brutal ugliness and harsh vandalism

due to the ignorance of human life.

By themselves, these things are quite simple and beautiful.

Add in the ignorant and uneducated life

and these things become just as ugly.

"There is only one good, Knowledge, and one evil, Ignorance"

Socrates